"So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him." (1 John 4:16) and “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19)
Love, which is defined by God, has a definitive order. First, a person comes to know that they are unlovable. Second faith is received. After that, the knowledge of God's love toward self in Christ, as unlovable, prompts love toward God (Matthew 22:37) "for so great a salvation" (Hebrews 2:3-4). Then a progressive journey of true love toward self and others (Matthew 22:39) commences in order to reflect the love wherewith we have been loved in Christ. The root of true love is the knowledge that self, and others, are equally unlovable before God and yet loved anyway, in Christ.
To exhibit God's love then, is to view self and interact with others in the way God views and interacts with the unlovable, in Christ. That is, with unlimited Grace (unmerited favor) and unyielding Truth. To love in this way is incomprehensibly more than being nice (commonly called grace), and blurting out whatever comes to mind (commonly called truth). Love in God's definitive order requires constant battles against loving in order to receive (idolatry) and loving in order to love as God loves. Amid these battles, idolatry (loving in order to receive) is progressively turned toward perfected love (loving as God loves).
I grant that other definitions of love generate strong emotions and desires, but those other definitions are rightly called idolatry. Love is love, but it is defined by God, who is love.
